Radical Instincts
WELCOME, YOU RADICAL PERSON!
Grab your notebook/journal (lots of reflection ahead of you!)
Take this at your own pace and pay attention to when you need a break. I intentionally created this course without a set timeframe in mind. Consider this your initiation of trusting your instincts to guide you!
Be open and very honest with the questions asked. Your transformation is worth it.
Whenever you're ready to schedule our 30-minute support call, click the *Ring Ring* button.
Instinct Cues
The cues and clues of your instinct
Pay attention to the cues that your gut instinct gives you.
Have you experienced your instincts as:
Body sensations
Temperature change
A certain thought process
A sense of clarity
Feeling anxious/shaken up
Receiving messages in your dreams
A strong emotion out of nowhere
An energy that you can't identify, but are aware of
Reflect on:
How you perceive your gut instinct and how it shows up for you.
Blueprints 1 & 2
Gut Instinct Blueprint 1: First Memory
Why do I keep making decisions that aren’t in alignment with how I want to live my life?
When was the first time you were aware of your gut instinct? It's completely okay whenever this took place, it could've happened in childhood or last week.
What did you notice about your instinct? (A knowing, a body sensation, an immediate like or dislike, a strange dream etc.) Write down your experience of the earliest memory of your gut instinct.
How did you respond to your gut instinct in that moment?
Did you mention this experience to anyone at that the time?
In yourself, was it an acceptance or dismissal of what you were feeling? ("I'm making this up!" or "I better pay attention.")
Gut Instinct Blueprint 2: Connect the Dots
List an instance when you not only heard your gut instinct, but also acted on it. First event was listed. List the milestones in your life. School, career, job, relationship, different spiritual/religious path, choosing a therapist, etc.
What are YOUR milestones? YOU deem your own milestones. How did you get from your present self to your last milestone? Did you listen to your instincts?
Create these milestones up to the present day. Connect the dots on listing how you got from one instance/milestone to the next in your life.
List at least 10 milestones to start. (A sample of my blueprint is listed below)
If life was harder, did you run from it or move with the uncertainty?
Did you actively or passively try to change something?
Did any divine intervention or random occurrences happen?
Did anything unforeseen steer your path?
Which milestone were you surprised that you did/didn't include on your blueprint?
Being very honest with yourself, what's a milestone that you wouldn't share with someone, but need to include?
Which milestones felt more instinctive than others?
Kara's Blueprint
See how no journey is linear?! You can add more milestones as you remember them. Some significant moments that you would've overlooked might pop up when you start to reflect.
AFFIRMATIONS:
"My life is uniquely designed."
"My milestones are proof of my ability to change."
"Even when life doesn't make sense in the moment, I'm committed to trusting myself."
"I trust that my next unknown milestone will be for my highest good."
EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique
Emotional Freedom Technique
The tapping points for the sequence are:
Top of head
Above Eyebrow
Side of the Eye
Under the Eye
Under the nose
Chin
Collar bone
Under the arm
Light pressure for the tapping. State how you’re feeling and replace it with an affirmation. You can tap 5-7 times at each point or whatever rhythm feels best once you get started. Yet another chance to listen and trust your instinct to guide you. Repeat along with me aloud.
“Even though…blank blank blankety blank...I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
EFT Exercises: Doubt & Hesitation
EFT: doubts of connecting to your instincts
“Even though I didn’t listen to you in the past and I feel insecure about that…”
“Even though I think I don’t have a gut instinct or I’m not worthy of having one because I’m too far from myself…”
“Even though I can’t tell the difference between making something up and hearing my gut talk…”
“Even though I’m making up my relationship with my gut instinct…”
"...and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
EFT: hesitation around hearing your instincts
“Even though I didn’t listen to you in the past and I feel insecure about that…”
“Even though I think I don’t have a gut instinct or I’m not worthy of having one because I’m too far from myself…”
“Even though I can’t tell the difference between making something up and hearing my gut talk…”
“Even though I’m making up my relationship with my gut instinct…”
"...and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
Who's Doing The Talking?
Becoming aware of your influences
Who were the primary people in your life growing up? (Example: authority figure, parent, sibling, teacher, member of your community, coach, family member, etc.)
Who was the loudest voice in your head?
Who has that voice belonged to over the years? (ex. mother...then yourself...then partner...then yourself. It can fluctuate!)
When did you notice your own voice talking the loudest? Was it at a certain phase of life or situation-based? Would it talk from a place of rebellion to make sure it was heard, or from a place of declaration and empowerment?
When do you notice now when someone else is doing the talking? Is it in certain circumstances or when making certain decisions?
Who does that voice belong to?
EVOLUTION OF VOICES:
Who do you think was the primary voice in your head/gut instinct when you were a child?
Who do you think the primary voice in your head was when you were a teenager?
Who do you think the primary voice in your head was in early adulthood?
Who do you think the primary voice in your head is now?
When is your gut speaking from trauma or self-sabotage?
"Who’s the voice of my gut instinct?"
SIT WITH THIS QUESTION!
Easy exercise: close your eyes, take a deep breath, ask yourself the question, “who’s the voice of my gut instinct?” and wait for the answer. Trust that the answer is right, don’t question yourself. If this answer feels upsetting, that’s okay. This is more awareness and with more awareness comes trust in ourselves. Use EFT if needed for extra support.
Society
Preaching about society and EFT exercise for unlearning
“Even though I can’t tell the difference between my own instincts and what I’m ingrained with…”
“Even though it feels overwhelming to try to discern the difference between what I believed, and what I actually know to be true.”
“Even though this feels like a very big undertaking and unlearning, I know it’s safe to explore what no longer feels true because…”
“I’m capable of unlearning because I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Remember: it’s okay to question yourself. YOU have complete permission to unlearn things that no longer fit who you are or who you want to be.
Counsel 1: Key Decisions
Reflecting on how key decisions were made
Refer back to your blueprint or list some new key decisions you’ve made in your life.
(examples: entering into or leaving a relationship, job change, schooling, finding a therapist, having/not having children, setting a boundary, moving, etc.)
We're focusing more on the decision aspect: it’s not the actual milestone, but the process in making the decision to get to the milestone. If using your blueprint, focus on the arrows that connect the milestones, those are where the decisions were made.
Now list some of the factors that helped you to make these decisions in the first place:
Recommendations?
Someone’s input?
Your own knowing?
Following the assumed step you were "supposed" to take?
guidance outside of ourselves vs. our own guidance.
Who did you seek counsel from?
Did they support your own knowing/instincts?
Did you act on their guidance and if so, what happened?
Did you give away your sense of knowing?
At what point did you notice/realize that you had or hadn't trusted yourself?
How did you feel afterwards?
Did the feeling afterwards validate your level of commitment to your decision, or leave you more confused?
KEEP IN MIND:
If you're having an A-HA moment after seeing how your decision-making process was impacted, be easy with yourself. It's completely normal to feel different emotions when you have hindsight and clarity on your side (the next 2 sections will help clear these emotions!).
How you move forward with your instincts is more important now.
Remember: It’s okay for you to know even if others don’t understand it.
Counsel 2: EFT Exercise
More counsel discovery & EFT clearing around obligation and shame
Does your counsel support your truest sense of self or your self-sabotage?
“Even though they spelled out what I should do and I don’t want to, that’s okay…”
“Even though I hate disappointing people and don’t want to hurt their feelings or let them down…”
“Even though they might love me less for not listening to them…”
“Even though the dynamic is that I always listen to them and I’m going against that, that’s okay. I’m meant to change. I’m allowed to grow…”
“Even though their advice might be very valid, it’s okay for me to approach my own knowing first. It’s okay for me to hear my own knowing first. And sometimes it will align with theirs, and other times it won’t. But either way, I know myself, I hear myself, I listen to myself…”
"...and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
EFT Exercise: Power
EFT for acceptance around power dynamics
“Even though I trusted someone else’s knowing over my own…”
“Even though I gave away my power in that moment…”
“Even though I felt like someone else had the right answer for me…”
“Even though I felt bad to not follow their advice…”
“Even though I betrayed myself in the process, that’s okay…”
"...and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
Persona
Persona 1: Creation
If we have a hard time trusting ourselves, sometimes creating a persona within ourselves feels like we have someone to check in with.
What are the qualities of the person you trust the most?
(Caring, all-knowing, accepting, always having your back, etc.)
What does your gut instinct physically look like?
Does it have a gender?
What are some physical qualities that make you feel safest? (Someone who looks strong like Wonder Woman or comforting like a Grandmother)
What are its core qualities?
Give your persona a name/nickname.
Be creative, this is your OWN creation!
Persona 2: Bonus or "Damn, I look good!"
What do YOU look like when it’s your best self?
How does this version of yourself feel?
What are the main emotions you feel when you’re in alignment? (Example: free, excited, unstoppable, relieved, empowered, etc.)
How do you show up when you’re REALLY knowing your worth?
Trauma
Understanding how trauma impacts our energy
RECOGNIZE WHAT THE TRAUMA IS AND HOW IT FEELS:
Was this one incident or a series of repeated behaviors/actions?
What emotions do you experience when feeling triggered? (fear, abandonment, grief, rage, sadness, etc.)
How does your trauma response show up? (becoming withdrawn, more anxious, heightened level of confusion, need to run away, immediate body pain/headache etc.)
When do you notice it most? (a certain environment or specific location, a particular person or group dynamic)
What situation comes to mind where your response/reaction seemed much stronger than what was actually necessary in that moment? (example: Plans falling through at the last minute and then feeling deeply abandoned and heartbroken. THIS is a trauma response)
Is this trauma-response helping or hindering you at this point in your life? Does it show up when it's no longer a helpful response? Are you ready for a new experience?
KEEP IN MIND:
When you're remembering/re-experiencing these memories/emotions, it's completely normal to feel triggered or upset, it can even linger or show up within the next few days. It’s important that you understand why you’re feeling this way. This is intentionally working with your trauma instead of being blindsided by it. It’s surfacing so it can clear. Be easy with yourself, be gentle and take care of yourself. LISTEN to what you need.
AWARENESS:
This level of protection is no longer serving me, it’s actually hindering me.
AFFIRMATIONS FOR INSTINCTS:
"I am ready to heal the activated response within me."
"Thank you for keeping me safe when I needed help. I am deeply safe now."
"Thank you so much for serving me."
"You did your job, now you can step down."
EFT Exercise: Situation
EFT for talking through an entire situation
Talk through an entire situation/experience that happened, especially a deeply ingrained memory. This memory could be a traumatic one OR any time you felt at odds within yourself. Trust your instincts on noticing which memory comes up for you first. Notice how you felt when you were in that situation and say the feelings/thoughts that you’re experiencing.
Tapping prompt begins with: “Even though…”
Say whatever comes to mind and tap through the memory. There’s no right OR wrong way to do this! Trust your instincts and tap away. Watch how the root of the situation reveals itself.
End the exercise with the affirmation: “I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Do this exercise for at least 15 situations.
Ho'oponopono
Forgiveness approaches: Straightforward and Sneaky
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
Make a list of 25 instances (25 sounds like a lot, but once you get started watch how easy that list grows) that could use forgiveness. You don’t have to go into major detail on the list, just write down the person/event in a way that YOU know exactly what it represents.
Straightforward approach: close your eyes, presence the situation, put your hands over your heart, say/offer the prayer, deep breath.
For the holding-the-grudge situation/sneaky approach: presence the situation and direct the prayer towards yourself in that moment.
Repeat this technique until you notice an internal shift within yourself. A shift can be a stronger level of clarity, feeling less triggered/more removed from the memory, or any type of emotional reaction. This is helping to move emotional energy so it’s completely normal to feel different emotions while working through this. THIS is the shift happening! You can offer this prayer more than once (WAY more than once depending on how charged the event felt). Keep repeating the prayer until the emotions feel less triggered.
Forgiveness Bonus Tip: this can be said throughout your head ANY time! (And yes, I have done forgiveness work en route to Thanksgiving.)
Deep breaths, you got this.
"I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you."
AFFIRMATION:
I. Deserve. Peace.
Trauma vs. Intuition
Trauma and Intuition and the Unknown, oh my!
Intuition always has more clarity with it, but the emotions won’t always feel good. A common misconception is: my intuition will only bring me good feelings. This misconception is where we get confused on not being able to tell the difference between acting from self-sabotage/trauma and your real instincts. A common theme with self-sabotage is that it NEVER feels good. Especially because a self-sabotage usually stems from a trauma in the first place! It's like expecting a flower to bloom from dead roots. Outlook not good.
Whether you're aware of it or not yet, you know that you're not acting in your best interest. Those moments when the voice in your head is saying, “you know this isn’t a good idea but I see you’re doing it anyway..."
This is why it's crucial to get clear on what your self-sabotages are so you're aware when you're acting from them.
What are some of your self-sabotages? (Habits, behaviors or tendencies that don't act in your best interest)
When do you become aware of the sabotage? Before you make the decision or afterwards?
What are the common factors surrounding your self-sabotage? (Environment, time of day, certain friendships/family members)
At what point do you know you're going against yourself in some way? Does a certain thought or feeling settle over you? (Shame and regret are common ones)
Who is the voice in your head that makes you think twice about sabotaging yourself? *cough instinct cough*
When have you made a decision that didn't feel good but was right?
When have you acted on your intuition instead of the sabotage?
Searching for these answers can feel really messy and uncomfortable. This is facing the ugly parts of ourselves that like to hide in the dark. The more light we shed on them, the greater our awareness becomes. Awareness will open up more clarity and trust can finally shine through.
Use EFT or Ho'oponopono to keep clearing out these emotions. You're doing such great work and I'm hugging you in spirit!
AWARENESS:
Intuition always tries to bring you into alignment.
Intuition dances with the unknown.
Intuition won’t always feel good, but it will feel right.
AFFIRMATION:
"My intuition gives me the answer I truly need."
Listen, Look & Curiosity
Listen: your life and language
What are the red flags that go off in your head/body when you’re trying to align with something that doesn’t feel right?
How are other circumstances in your life reflecting misalignment?
Can you recognize when distress signs have tried to get your attention?
What did you really need to hear within yourself?
What truth did you need to know?
When/who/what do you notice contributes to feeling at odds internally?
What language do you use to describe your instinct?
I think.
I feel.
I see.
I know.
Look: how the universe shows up
How does outside validation from the Universe show up for you?
What signs have shown up lately to support and encourage you?
How has the Universe shown up to support you in the past?
Have you received the same sign throughout the years, or something new?
REMEMBER:
Nothing is too small. If you thought it was a sign/encouragement, it was! Trust your instincts.
AFFIRMATION:
"I want my life to be the rule, not the exception."
"The more I trust myself, the more support I receive in unexpected ways."
Curiosity: your new BFF
Be curious with your thoughts and question yourself. Presence a current situation that you feel like you have to figure out and ask yourself the 3 questions below:
Why do I feel like I have to know that?
What do I need in this moment?
What do I most need to be able to hear myself?
REMEMBER:
Take a breath and be open.
You can react in your own timeframe.
Time can be healing.
Maybe I just have to know what feels best.
EFT: Possibilities
What if...
You’re closing loops! You’re transforming your energy before your own eyes! YEAH YOU!!!
“What if I knew how to listen.”
“What if it was safe to hear myself.”
“What if everything I needed already existed within myself.”
“What if my only job in this life is to get quiet enough to hear myself.”
“What if I know more than I think I do.”
“What if I am my own best council.”
“What if my instincts reflect what my life is going to be and not what it used to be.”
“What if I can be surprised by the unknown in the best possible way.”
“What if my instincts only lead me to the miraculous.”
“What if my life moving forward is the clearest reflection of my deepest desires.”
“What if the Universe talks back to me through my instincts.”
“What if I trust myself so goddamn much that no person, place or thing could make me hear differently.”
“What if I belong to myself.”
“What if this life of mine is just getting started.”
“What if my gut instinct is my own North Star.”
“What if I already know.”
I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Question, Walk & Affirm
Question: let's start talking
Be quiet, ask/write a question and listen until you hear/feel/know the answer. Be patient with yourself and don’t question it! The first response is your gut talking. Talk directly to the persona if you find that helpful.
What do you love most about yourself?
What time of day feels sacred to you?
What part of your beautiful body needs extra compassion?
What are you most proud of?
What's one object in your home that you can do without?
Which relationship in your life would you like to feel more reciprocal?
Which dream/goal do you want to pursue next?
What are you naturally good at but don't talk about?
What makes you feel connected to yourself?
Which food/beverage do you need the most right now?
Which request or situation do you want to say "no" to?
When you hear/feel the word "trust", what image comes to mind?
What's the best-case-scenario that you can imagine for you life?
Walk: taking your instincts out
Outdoor exercise: when you start walking, see which direction you’re drawn towards. Take in all of your surroundings and be curious.
If you’re in a store or doing online shopping: Take a breath, presence the object (physically holding it or seeing it in your mind), stay in the stillness and ask your gut, “which one do I truly want.” “Which one feels better?”
This has less to do with the answer and more to do with the feeling within you when choosing. This is building your instinct so after enough practice you will know what a YES feels like. Experiment!
Affirm: Acknowledge & Thanks
Start acknowledging/affirming your gut when you hear it. Come up with a statement that you’ll use.
“Thank you gut, I heard you.”
“Thanks for sharing your opinion.”
“Thanks for knowing what’s right for me.”
"Thanks for having my back."
“Good job, babe.”
“You did it again!”
*Pat on back*
Contracts
Vowing to have and to hold
Time to solidify the relationship with your gut instinct even more! What do you intend moving forward with your gut? ANY time you listen to your instincts, that takes bravery.
Write down the vows you’re making to your gut in your own contract. You can write it as a list with at least 10 vows, or as a free-flowing letter to yourself. Be sure to sign your name with love and conviction at the bottom.
Examples:
“From this moment forward, I promise to listen to you the first time you speak to me.”
“I promise to heed the warning that you send my way.”
“I promise to be brave and listen to you regardless of circumstances.”
“I promise to be brave on your behalf because you show up to support me no matter what.”
“I promise to invest time in our relationship.”
“I promise to create a safe space for you to talk if I can’t truly hear you.”
“I promise to be honest with myself if I’m ignoring you.”
“I promise to forgive myself if I trust someone else’s knowing.”
“I promise to notice and listen to all the ways you talk to me.”
#legallybinding
Closing
You have the most radical instincts in all the land
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Repeat videos as needed because they'll take on new meaning each time. This course will evolve with you. If we haven't already had our 30-minute support call, click the *Ring Ring* button below to let me know you're ready to chat. I can't wait to connect with you, but in the meantime I know the Universe has a lot to reflect back during this time!
Always keep trusting and listening to yourself.